I'm fat

I haven't posted in forever because nursing school has consumed my life. But this morning, an insensitive comment on Facebook regarding the death of actor James Gandolfini compelled me to begin writing the following post.  Please note that this is a topic that I've had on my mind for quite a while and is not directed at any specific individual:

Fat people.....

•    park closest to the store because they're lazy
•    use the scooter in the store because they're lazy
•    are going to die from a heart attack because they are fat
•    don't like to exercise

Fat jokes and judgements.  Even to celebrities or strangers.  Ever think that it may upset people around you that you care about?  As someone who has struggled, and even now 90 lbs lighter, still struggles with her weight, it hurts me when people make these cruel comments.  In my eyes, you might as well be saying them about me.  It comes from acquaintances on Facebook but it's also come from friends and family. 

I still see myself as fat.  I know a lot of people who have struggled with their weight in the past still see themselves as fat.  So I'm willing to bet this is a common occurrence. Be kind and considerate and choose your words wisely.  Your joke or judgement on some celebrity or complete stranger may hurt someone you care about.  While your intentions may be to be funny or even to just pass judgement and you think it's okay because it's not anyone you care about, this topic hits home to millions of people who currently struggle or have struggled with there weight in the past. 

Everyone has a story and you don't always know what it is.  An overweight woman at the supermarket using a scooter could have a chronic lung disease.  An overweight man who parks close could be doing himself a favor because its about to rain.  Thin and fit people die from heart attacks too.  Obesity can be caused by thyroid problems, depression, and so much more.  So the bottom line is, please stop judging people. 

Thank you.

PICTURE UPDATE!: A year and one month post-surgery

Recently nursing school has kept me away from anything fun. :/

But don't worry, it's only a year!

I'm not sure if I'm trying to reassure you or me..  Either way, it will be okay :)

In the meantime... October 17th was my one year Band-iversary and I am 90 pounds down from where I started.  YAY!  That number on the scale isn't moving a whole lot, but my sizes are!  I am now fitting into Mediums on top and Larges on bottom.  When I started this journey a year ago I was wearing 3XLs.

I am slowly coming to terms with the concept that muscle weighs more than fat and that even though the number on the scale hasn't moved a whole lot, that there is still a difference in my body re-shaping.

And now for an updated pic......

 While I don't see a huge difference between this pic and my last pic in the face forward shot, I DO notice a huge difference in the side view.  Check out my HLA (Hot Latina Ass)!!

THANK YOU SQUATS!! :)

So I cheated a little and had this pic taken before the holidays began....  But don't worry, tomorrow I go back to basics and cut out a lot of "extra" crap I've been eating..  At least I'm going to try my best to.  Even before the holiday I have been struggling with stress eating related to nursing school manifested by the junk food I am eating..  (a little nursing humor)

Even though I am far from perfect with my eating and exercise habits, I can honestly look back a year ago and say that I am in a much better place with it all.

Until next time..

Hi Stranger

I haven't posted in a long time because life has been kinda crazy.  Lot's of traveling and working out and staying pretty busy which are all good things.  But I figured it was time for an update so here I go...

I'm down 80 pounds and I'm about 10 months post op. YAYYYYY! :)

The past couple of months the scale has been slowing down which was making me nervous, but then I started focusing on how all my clothing was super big on me!  My doctor confirmed this and told me not to focus so much on the scale anymore because I'm working out 6 days a week like a crazy woman.  Muscle weighs more than fat so it makes sense that the scale has slowed down while I'm still dropping sizes like crazy.  I am down to an 18 on bottoms (when I started this journey I was wearing a 24 that was SUPER tight) and, get this, I am a LARGE on top and sometimes a MEDIUM!!! 

I never thought I would get here, yet here I am.  I mean, I've still got some more to lose but looking back, I've already come so far.  I'm seriously proud of myself.  For real.  I don't remember the last time I could honestly say that I was proud of myself. 

So not only have I been buying smaller clothing, but I dyed my hair red and have been changing up my style a little bit as I settle into The Skinny Bitch.  Feeling really good!! :)

Moving on..... I started  nursing school and the online portion was a breeze.  The in-class portion starts on September 10th.  As of that date, my schedule will be changing completely.  For a while this was stressing me out and making me so nervous because I feel like I've gotten into a routine and a flow with my workout schedule.  What if this causes me to work out less?  Or even worse, completely STOP working out altogether?! 

I had a 'come-to-Jesus' meeting with myself and realized that in the past I would have never been anxious about this.  I would have just dealt with the change of schedule on September 10th, not a moment before, and been like "I'm too tired to work out" or "They don't have any group exercise classes that are convenient for me" and just defeat myself into a corner that would consist of me not working out anymore, then beating myself up for it, and then turning to a bag of Oreos for comfort. 

But instead, here I was, a few months before my schedule change, and I'm stressing out about my next move.  When I realized this, I knew, that all I needed to do was put a plan in place before school started, and I would follow it. 

So that's what I've done.  I've been investigating new classes at different times that would work with my upcoming new schedule.  I've figured out several options that would work well for me, and now I have a plan. 

The same actually goes for my eating habits.  I was stressing out about how they might change once school starts.  I've relied heavily on protein shakes made in the blender at home with frozen fruit and milk and protein powder.  This was not going to work once school starts, so at the same time I was putting my new workout plan together, I started re-learning how to eat.  I now have a food plan as well and I am very much looking forward to the change in schedule.

So, I keep getting requests for another updated photo.  Here is my dilemma, I was using the poundage to tell me when I should take photos.  Every 30 pounds or so is when I would take photos.  But now, since the scale has slowed down, I almost feel like it's way too soon for another photo, I still have 10 more pounds to go to make the next 30.  But I will try and get one soon and I probably won't wait for the next 10 pounds to come off before I take one.  I don't want to keep you in suspense for too long... :)

'Til next time..

Another Photo Update!

Wow.  That is all.

Happy Six Month Bandiversary To Me!

Down a total of 65 pounds in 6 months.  I’m a freakin’ rock star!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted because I’ve been busy working out almost every day like a mad woman!

Say Whaaaaat?!

I know! I know!  Not like me at all!  6 days a week and working on adding a 7th day.  My membership to the YMCA has helped IMMENSELY.  I love having the support and variety of classes and close convenient access to it all.  All of that has really contributed to making me WANT to work out. 

Who am I and what have I done with the old me!?! 

I don’t really care because I kinda don’t want her back.  I’m really digging the new me…
I feel the best I have in a long time, not just because of the weight loss, although I’m sure that helps significantly!  My energy is up, my mood is up, my confidence is up, I think I’m funnier, too! LOL

As successful as I have been so far, I’m not perfect. 

I still don’t take my multivitamins like I’m supposed to every day..  and because of this I’ve been sick 3 times in the past 6 months.  Way above average!!  I’m working on this.. I need to find a tiny pill I can swallow because chewables are just not working for me…
Surgery also doesn’t fix the emotional eating problem I have.  Therapy helps, and all the positive changes I’m making in my life help, but when I’m stressed or upset, I still want nothing more then to bite into a giant sugary, fatty, high caloric-y, cakey, buttery, really sugary goodness of SOMETHING.  BUT, I am very happy to report that even tho I give into my cravings sometimes still, because of my surgery, I cannot  eat nearly as much as I would normally binge on before surgery.  So, for example, what may pre-surgery have been 6 cupcakes, has post surgery, turned into just one cupcake.  So that’s a good thing!  

I also have been obsessively weighing myself every day.  Not good!  Everyone says it’s not good and I have always replied with, “I need to weigh myself every day to keep myself accountable”

BULL.  SHIT.

It drove me crazy last month.  I was so focused on that number that I thought I hadn’t lost a single pound.  I was so upset about it and when I saw the surgeon last week, I had actually lost 13 pounds in that month!  I haven’t weighed myself since.  Partially because I’m in Fort Myers visiting family and don’t have a scale here…. lol But still, I’m going to try and at least keep it to once a week.
Sooo…  I guess to sum it up- Things are going well   I have lost 35 pounds since my last before and after picture post so I will be taking another picture too!  And be on the lookout for my new cute bathing suit that I’ll wear in the photo because the bathing suit I was wearing in the first two photos is now wayyyyy too big

‘Till Next Time..

Holidays Were A Success.. But Now I'm Sick

I say this because I was able to splurge on tasty holiday dishes and still lose weight…  I think that’s a success in my book!  I think this is the first time I have ever lost weight over the holidays.

I went to Jersey from Christmas and New Years and had a blast!  Got to eat yummy Cuban food and a few Jersey classics.  Got to spend some time with family and friends.. It was great!

This past Friday I did my first Disney 5k and I kept an average 17 minute per mile pace.  YAY ME!  I did this walking the whole time.  I’m hoping to start a walk to run program soon.  I was also at Disney Saturday and Sunday supporting my hubby while he ran the 1/2 marathon and full marathon.  (I almost forgot to mention that he also walked the 5k with me, coaching me, supporting me, getting me water, and making sure I was ok- Best. Hubby. Ever.)

And now… for the sick part.  I woke up with a sore throat on Monday.. which turned into sore throat and coughing on Tuesday with a fever of 100.  Today I still feel like poop but I don’t have a fever so that’s good.

Since I have the lap band, My surgeon prefers that I get medicine in liquid form or injection whenever possible.  So….I’ve got Phenergan in liquid form for the cough, and I’m taking Tylenol in liquid form.  I guess it’s better then an injection!

Oh yeah, and I’m down about 10 more pounds since last post about a month ago.

Go Me!

I Am So Happy To Be A Loser

It’s been about a month since my last entry and I’m down 8 more pounds! I’ve never been so happy to be a loser!!

I think I want to write this entry in list format since I have a lot to talk about..

-Thanksgiving was great!  I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to eat *real* Thanksgiving food, but I did.  I just had 4 ounces of it

-Since I’m not eating a lot of food, my cravings for desserts have gone down (they are still there but not as much).  Most times I’d just rather eat a meal then waste time on a dessert which wouldn’t be so filling.

-Like I said before, I still like dessert.  But rather then trying to squeeze it in after every meal like I sometimes did pre-surgery, instead I just have something small at night which satisfies me.  Last week I made a peanut butter pie recipe that I got from the Lapband website. AMAZING!  Hubby even had a slice and thought it was super sweet and rich.  He almost didn’t believe me when I told him the main ingredient was sugar free jello pudding!

-Going out to eat has decreased to maybe once a week if I’m lucky.  This has saved us soo much money!!

-I found a bunch of support groups (both online and offline) that I am taking advantage of now.  My surgeon also has a support group that runs once a month that I will be trying out.  I even signed up for a Weight Loss Surgery cooking class at Celebration Hospital!  Soo awesome to have people that really understand what I’m going thru.

-I’m up to walking 1.5-3 miles at least 3 times a week.  Doing a 5K in January with hubby!  You should join us!

-My clothing is falling off of me.  I have lots of clothing starting at size 24 (starting size, but now it’s falling off of me) all the way down to 18, so I’ll be covered for the most part till then.  Except right now my smaller clothing is still a little too snug, but my larger clothing is too large.. Oh lord.. me and my Skinny Bitch Problems..

-Recipes:  I’ve been in search for yummy simple recipes..  I was thinking about creating a FB group for recipe swapping.. Let me know if you would participate!

-Oh yeah!  Christmas is coming up soon and I’ll be traveling to NJ to see the family.  It will be nice to get on a plane and be a little smaller, a little more comfortable in my seat.

I can’t think of anything else…..sooooo.. until next time!